Hoist the Jolly Roger and set sail on this week's Escape for two to the Wyndham Nassau Resort & Crystal Palace Casino. Stay three nights for $402 or four nights for $536 and receive daily breakfasts for two. A pair of baby buccaneers under 15 can stay and eat breakfast for free, as well.

You and your first mate will dock in a stylish room, where you can scan the high seas for swashbuckling adventures from your private balcony. In addition to a 42-inch flat-screen TV, your abode includes a safe to store precious booty.

Gratefully, you won't have to walk the plank to swim with the fishes on your included excursions for two. With a dolphin encounter, you'll get an up-close and personal meeting with your new bottlenose bud via a waist-deep submerged platform. You'll become savvy about the dolphin's natural habitat with an unforgettable and hands-on experience.

You don't have to pillage or plunder in search of buried treasure; simply head to Stuart Coves with Snorkel Bahamas. Armed with fish food, you'll stop at a reef teeming with fish, followed by a visit to one of two shipwrecks (one is a 200-foot tanker with the tip of its mast reaching just eight feet below surface level; the other made famous appearances in 007 films For Your Eyes Only and Never Say Never Again).

An optional third visit—for those braver than Barbarossa—is to shark-infested waters, where you can watch in awe as the creatures circle the bait box below.

Or, hop on deck a high-speed trip to Exuma with Powerboat Adventures, where you'll snorkel among crystal reefs and feed marine life while surrounded by the breathtaking views of a private island. (Escapees staying three nights can choose one of the excursions above; Escapees staying four nights can choose two.)

The resort's amenities will delight landlubbers and seadogs alike. Slip down the spiral slide into the lagoon-style pool. Beyond the pool deck lies 1,000 feet of Cable Beach's soft sand. Pirates in need of a pampering can invade the on-site Hollis Cosmetics & Day Spa for facials and massages, or to wax their Blackbeards.

When hunger takes you prisoner, surrender at any of the resort's nine restaurants and bars. Savor juicy prime rib and lobster tail with hot Creole sauce at the Black Angus Grille, or swim up to the Tiki Hut for a burger and cocktail.

"X" marks the spot for buried treasure at the resort's Crystal Palace Casino. Nearly 400 slot machines, as well as traditional table games, provide plenty of ways to bring home the doubloons.

You don't have to be Barnacle Bill to fly the pirate flag. Screw on your peg leg and strap on your eye-patch—this Escape will shiver ye timbers.

In a city synonymous with backroom dealing, slick lobbying, and undercover trading, there's a fine line between legal and criminal. And with today's steal of a deal, you get to spend a night with the ghosts of some seriously hardened criminals: Pay just $12 and get ready to scream as you experience Fright at the Museum at the National Museum of Crime & Punishment on October 21, 22, or 27 (a $25 value). Your night of thrills revolves around an electric chair at the museum that saw 125 criminals executed. Once the doors to the museum close each night, they say the dead men's spirits start walking... toward anyone who dares to stay inside. Hear their screams, experience the terror, and do your best not to get spooked to death at this fall-themed thriller.

Between daily Beltway backups and near-government shutdowns, living in our dear District can cause monumental stress. If you've been Biden your time too long, today's deal from Spalon is here to lobby for your relief: Spend $99 and receive a mani/pedi and choice of either a deep-tissue massage or European facial at this Dupont Zen den (a $250 value). Or if you'd prefer, pay just $69 and receive an hour-long microdermabrasion to exfoliate, cleanse, and rejuvenate your pores and skin (a $150 value). Offering a wealth of services for DC denizens, Spalon is your Department of Defense against aches, stress, wrinkles, and undisciplined digits. The mani/pedi will massage, shape, and polish your nails; the deep-tissue massage will knead your knots into oblivion, and the European facial will nourish and hydrate your skin. And at half price, there's no need to worry about making personal budget cuts.